Saturday, November 3, 2012

How do you sleep

Itching to blog on what I feel right now... So here's to me being me!

Look, I don't know what I'm doing with my life really nothing seems to click together. Learning materials science seems like just about right this one time, now I don't even know what I want any more. I feel lost, my soul that is. Living with mom and dad doesn't seem right.

 I've always known that I am an independent child. Takes even a blind man and a mute a total time spend of just one second to know that. Since it has been very obvious since 1995, the moment i  was squeezed into the world. Hell, maybe at that point in time, I didn't want my mother's support to push me out of her.

Yeah well some may say don't you consider Singapore being your home and don't you feel a little homesick once you're out? Truth is, yes. I will miss the buzz here. Not so much of the ignorance and the racism of the people here. Mostly the bond with people I grew up with. Mostly the places I lived as a child growing up to be a woman. Mostly the sadness, joys and emptiness that I feel 87% of the time. Most of all, I will miss the person who I used to be. That independent little girl with the perfect family with the perfect hopes and dreams.

Ruin is what caused it all to shatter and made her feel empty. Maybe someday shadows of the little girl might come back on a sunny afternoon and hopefully they have enough duct tape to tape all the pieces together... maybe a hot glue gun might work? Who knows

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